Making Time For Pleasure

When everything is just too overwhelming and life seems to be racing in a zillion directions, how do you handle it? Do you drink more coffee, try to do more, stay up later, get up earlier, or break down? Do you let stress build and ignore it? Do you just stuff your face with sugar like I do? It's a huge challenge to stay focused and prioritized, and to make the time for rest and balance in these times. We have so many mediums of communication all vying for our attention, not to mention careers to work, families to tend to, functions to attend, plans to make, appointments to keep. The list goes on and the stress seems to mount, until we find ourselves either sick or in breakdown somehow. I see many people who seem to wait until they're sick for a small break, and then they jump back up before they're even ready to go back into the ring for more. It's scary to watch. I can't help but wonder if they are truly happy, or just afraid to stop. For some, I'm sure that staying in the game full frontal brings them joy, but this isn't not true for everyone. The perfect antidote for stress is pleasure. Nothing gives us more of an "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" feeling. It doesn't really take much if we learn to breathe and center our attention on our hearts, get present with the moment, and then feel into it. I don't believe that pleasure can happen when our minds are racing in the opposite direction. Ever tried to completely relax while running? Doesn't work that well, does it? You have to get the mind to stop, drag it back to where your body is and sync your system up with the now. Only then can you really be with whatever pleasure you're offering yourself. One of the more advanced routes to pleasure is associated with our sexuality, and in a pinch our sexuality can be channeled into any activity and then it becomes sensuality, which is highly pleasurable. Pleasure in eating something delicious, feeling the sun on your face, getting a shoulder rub, stretching, looking at beautiful art or photos, listening to gorgeous music...these are all so pleasurable. If we focus on feeling our bodies respond as we enjoy these activities, we are officially having a sensual experience. This is where the pleasure we are feeling can light up our brains, our groins, our whole physiology, and we are healing, opening, and receiving the relaxation and rejuvenation we crave. In the book, The Pleasure Zone, Resnick lists the 8 fundamental pleasures as being primal, pain relief, play, mental, emotional, sensual, sexual, and spiritual. The last three can "be thought of as the consummate realms for reaching your pleasure potential", she says. Take some time out for pleasure today and if it feels good try it daily for a while

. I would love to hear back from you how it affects your life.

Your Inner Sensual Honey Pot

The single most scintillating thing about a divinely sensual woman is her connection to her private pot of honey. Every woman has it, but few know how to dip their consciousness into that pot and remain centered and dripping in the nectar of feminine essence that is her divine birthright. It is a mystery to many and a scary monster to avoid to those of us who’ve been brainwashed by our culture.

Luckily girlfriends, you’ve got me, and I’ve got a big mouth when it comes to dirty secrets that keep women feeling small and unhappy. My mission is to rev you up and give you full out permission to be the sexiest, hottest, most sensually satisfied woman you can be and to feel that your spiritual, love centered soul is right with the world at the same time!

What the heck does honey have to do with my inner self, you might be asking? Honey is what attracts because of sweetness. It’s filled with nutrients. When bears get a whiff of it, they cannot resist it. It’s liquid and flowing, but slow and sensual. Honey is good for just about everything from healing skin to baking cookies and it’s good for you, too. But if you spill it where you don’t want it, it’s sticky, messy, and kind of disgusting.

The key to this inquiry is that we’re talking about your inner self, not your outer self. When the incredible sweetness of loving yourself and your femaleness is in place, your honey is where it will do the most good. In fact, it will bring you unimaginable, amazing, miraculous good. This, dear sisters, is where your power resides. It’s in your love affair with your own beautiful femaleness, and your own exquisite and unique honey pot.

Misplaced, oozing out of the pot, and spilling onto others kind of honey is where you can get into big trouble. Unfortunately, most of us have had honey spills! Those happen when you think that someone else is responsible for making you happy, or that you just can’t live another day without so and so in your life. It’s a sticky, messy, oozy yuck with bits of neediness, blame, resentment, hopelessness, and jealousy all stuck to it.

The trick to learning how to hold your honey pot is learning how to completely and fully celebrate your womanhood. There are courses where you can learn this, such as Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts. It’s an amazing course filled with all sorts of tools that teach you how to bask in your self love in many ways. I highly recommend her books, and if you can afford it, her Mastery course.

My work takes you further into your spiritual depths. I use ancient teachings, empowerment experiences, careful observation of the shadow parts of yourself, and outrageous fun to liberate you into a fully empowered, spiritually whole, sensually liberated woman who knows how to dig deep into her desires and create the life of her dreams. I teach you how to hold your precious honey pot so that it feeds your beautiful soul.

What’s Breath Got To Do With It?

Sensuality, luscious beauties, begins with the breath. As a yoga teacher, over the years I have come to realize that just about everything has to do with breathing. When my little boy, who deals with hypersensitivities, has to endure something especially uncomfortable, I have taught him to use pranayama, or yogic breathing techniques to help him calm his mind, and ultimately cope with the discomfort. When I teach yoga, I’m teaching breathing techniques and breath consciousness while I teach postures. It’s actually more important, in my opinion, than the body postures because of how it affects the mind…and I think we all know that the mind is inextricably linked to sensuality!

Pondering the teaching of sensuality, it’s occurred to me that breathing is even more directly connected here as well. Sheri Winston, outstanding sexuality educator, does groundbreaking work teaching about anatomy, and also tells us that one can use breath for enhanced pleasure. Imagine yourself experiencing extreme pleasure. Do you tense up? Do you continue to breathe or hold your breath? Is your breath shallow, or deeper, or do you gulp and gasp and hold the air in? Most of us don’t pay attention to this, and what I’ve learned is that we are missing out on some of the most intense pleasure imaginable!

One of my favorite tantric teachers, Mare Simone, demonstrated some fabulous breathing exercises in a program I was involved with not long ago. She literally brought herself to orgasm with this breathing technique and nothing else. Many tantrikas (sexual healers) have this skill, as well as the knowledge of how the breath is deeply connected with the life force. This connects our sexual energy with our spiritual energy…resulting in a magnificent flow of ecstasy that moves up the spine called kundalini.

In the workshops that I facilitate, I teach women to move the energy through their bodies with their breath, and tune into the sensations of being in a sensual, ecstatic, vibrant, alive body. It changes the way they look, making their eyes shine and their skin glow. It puts a smile on their faces! Truly, sensuality is the essence of embodiment and pleasure deeply connected in the moment, elevated by breath…

Falling in Love With Your One Precious Body

You’re thinking that this is downright impossible, and you’re not even sure you want to anyway, right?! I hear you, sister. You and I have been programmed at a young age to view our bodies as shameful vessels of imperfection. Cross your legs like a lady, cover any natural body scent with artificial fragrances, and be nice are the messages we receive. Be polite, coy, and agreeable. Learn to cook and get a career to pay for everything. In fact, learn how to do everything so that any man you’re lucky enough to snag will be completely cared for, nurtured, and thrilled at how easily you cooperate and pop out a family for him while you bring home the bacon and craft it into a gourmet creation. No muss no fuss! Have I got your attention?

We women have private parts that are unmentionable. Most of us have never even seen them, and we sure as heck aren’t supposed to touch them. Many don’t know what’s where, what it’s for, or what it looks like. We’re actually afraid to look because we’ve gotten the message loud and clear that it’s abnormal, probably ugly and likely smelly. Spoken or unspoken, that’s the general pulse of our overly showered, disinfected, and perfumed culture.

Along with that message, we’re barraged with images of airbrushed, painted, and perfectly coiffed role models who can afford every type of medical enhancement invented, and have a team of stylists following them around. Not only are we ill equipped to compete, but we’re told that if we don’t emulate these icons, we are worthless and invisible. It’s depressing and deflating and invokes self loathing.

Before I lose you, I’m swinging into what you, the glorious and gorgeous creature that you truly are, can do about it! It would seem hopeless, but I have full faith in you because many of your sisters have already jumped on the bandwagon of the divine feminine revival recently. We have figured it out and are pioneering the exquisite landscape of self love with an exuberance that’s contagious. I am here to welcome you with open arms…please join us!

For the next few articles, follow me while I lay out a plan for not only working up the courage to look at that precious vehicle you were born into, but for falling in love with every single inch. For now, please begin by either putting on hand lotion or lip gloss each and every day. Find one silky or luxurious item to don often, just for the feel of it. Trust me. One baby step at a time, my beautiful creatures of divine femininity and miraculous good fortune…you landed here, didn’t you? You’re a genius!

Sensuality: Do You Purr or Do You Purrrr?

There are many ways to tap into this inherent gift of sensuality. We’re all born with it, but some of us just don’t know it yet. I’m here to give you the lowdown on how to be the source of your own turn on and in turn, turn the world on.

Revving up your sensuality engine is as easy as pie…literally. Especially if you like pie! Eating can be deeply sensual or unconscious and robotic, and anything in between. It’s really the energy that you bring to your senses that awakens them and the interplay between you and the object of your attention.

Consider the difference between sensory and sensual. Sensory is about the senses and the physical sensations that go with it. Sensuality is a personified energetic experience of being alive and turned on to life! Being turned on is a key aspect of sensuality because it truly is a process of anticipation mixed with sensation and filled with inherent satisfaction.

Try these simple exercises that will enhance your capacity to feel, smell, hear, taste, and see. For starters, and a little lesson from nature, watch your cat bathe herself while purring. Without the purr, it’s kind of a silent ho hum action. While purring? That kitty is enjoying herself, loving her paws, loving the moment, basking in happy. Clearly, the inherent joy inside kitty cat is what turns her from a lick machine into a sensuality pro.

Then you might try the fresh outdoors for a veritable smorgasbord of sensory delights. Instead of rushing around and living in your head talk about what you need to do next, try stopping and taking a few mindful breaths the next time you’re outside. Smell the air and take it into your lungs deeply, feeling the texture of the air in your mouth. Look at the sky and admire the hue of blue that particular day. Notice the feel of a breeze across your cheek or the sunshine on your skin. Listen to that same breeze in the trees, and see if you can hear more than one bird.

Another simple way to tap into your sensual self is with food. Instead of fast inhalation of a meal, take the time to savor each bite, rolling it around on your tongue…so many textures, tastes, sensations. By taking a few seconds several times a day, your senses will actually sharpen and you’ll begin to wake up the parts of yourself that may have gone numb. Nerve endings become more sensitive and the world is suddenly a playground of ecstasy!

Is it really that easy? Absolutely, but you have to be willing to risk the sex appeal you will begin to ooze. You might find yourself falling in love with nature in a new way, and you might find yourself surrounded by people who just love being near you because of how it makes them feel. You just might become really, really sensual…