Dishing Up Some Exquisite Self Care

What will it take, I ask you, to get you to slow down and put the oxygen mask to your own face? Why is it that we, as women, tend to leave ourselves last? I know, I know. You have a million reasons ranging from fear that ‘they’ won’t be able to care for themselves, to the belief that no one else could possibly take care of this situation as well as you do, to the ultimate one, that if you do let go and allow them to do it themselves, they’ll inevitably mess it up and you’ll have to then work twice as hard picking up the pieces!

Well, I have news for you, my cupcakes. I am eating shrimp with brown rice and veggies right now, sautéed lightly in safflower oil, known for its health giving benefits. What on earth does this have to do with it? Everything. It is a lunch prepared with love, some deep relaxed breathing, and a whole lotta will power. It took immense will power for me to stop what I was doing, walk into the kitchen, and take the time to prepare a healthy meal for myself. I didn’t want to. I would have preferred to continue working and unconsciously slam down a microwaved, salt laden, chemically preserved tv dinner. And I would have liked to follow it with a chocolate bar, a diet coke, and perhaps some potato chips. Sister, I have deadlines, you know.

My preferred lunch would have me high, working away, feeling productive and like the world loved me because I was keeping up with my commitments in a timely fashion…at least in my mind. The aching need to feel loved would be satiated with sugar, fat, salt, and caffeine. We are all aware though, that the preferred lunch would also have me crashing in no time and reaching for more potato chips, some ice cream, or another aspartame riddled adult black poison bubbly juice (diet coke). All of this for what? For more production, more people pleasing, more feelings like I am in control of my world…for these illusions I sacrifice my poor body.

I am telling you that it is not just food, but so many other reasons, excuses and ideas we have that all boil down to one thing. Programming. Women in general are programmed to be pleasing, to put others first, to sacrifice, to continue to hold others higher, to delay or even forsake gratification, and to stay smaller so that we are liked.
Time and time again I see women who are magnificent, spectacular, and brilliant, and they’re running ragged trying to keep up with what is accepted in our society as norm…hiding their light, passion and hotness under a mountain of pressure.

So here I have the flashing red lights and the sirens to get your attention. It is only by caring for ourselves exquisitely that we can truly serve the world. You know that old cliché about mommy using the oxygen mask first so that she can then be alive to put the oxygen mask over baby’s face? True. Perfect. It is absolutely imperative. You need to put yourself first, first, first, first, first. Let me repeat that. You need to put yourself first. And that baby? It’s your inner infant.

This brings me to our topic today of exquisite self care. It begins with a scoop of willingness to believe that it is possible. Dripped over that is some soothing, delicious and warm attention such as a list of what you might enjoy. I enjoy resting with a good book and a hot cup of tea, a walk in the sunshine, massaging some lotion onto my feet, or meditating. This is a great start and with a pen, the list of possibilities begins.

The sprinkling of friends who are on the same mission is an added extra, and it’s free. You can engage a few willing sisters to join you in this journey and ante up the beauty and joy factor on the planet by doing so. And then the ultimate dollop of whipped up pleasure on the fun is an outing of your desire. These could be made up of whatever turns you on.

Self care is fine by itself, but when you add exquisiteness to it, it becomes the thing of which goddesses, courtesans, and women of sparkling charisma are made. To reach exquisiteness, you must stretch. Stretching into purchasing silky luxuries to wear against your skin, treating yourself to a full body massage, or attending a ballet…whatever brings you into a place of pleasure. The cherry on the top, my loves, is that when you have been willing to care for yourself, the world begins to adore you, respect you, want you, desire your company, and is willing to do anything for you. Please don’t take my word for it…pick up your spoon and try some.