Women tend to seek intimacy in relationships because it’s how we are wired biologically. One of the most common complaints I hear from women is that they can’t seem to connect with their partners at a deep level that satisfies this longing enough. They tell me that all men want is sex, but they want the romance, the love, and the sensitivity to come first.
It all makes perfect sense that they are telling me this! Nature sure has a sense of humor when it comes to males and females. Men are wired to procreate first, find intimacy second. They will visually seek the hardiest, most physically appealing mate because it assures that our race will endure. Women actually have this instinct as well, but because they’re the ones who raise the offspring, historically, they are wired for relationship and bonding to ensure the community will assist them in this daunting endeavor. It really does take a village.
The tides are turning, however, and the age of a strong and healthy feminine essence is at hand. All over the world, women are beginning to feel a pull, an often uncanny urge towards the earth, their sisters, and their finally true purpose. Men are feeling it too, and my intuition tells me that it’s the feminine side of themselves they are hearing tap, tap, tap on their heart’s inner knowing.
The good news for all of us is that intimate connection is the newest and latest longing. Women may have always desired it, but in our age of screens, commercialism, domestication gone haywire, and media conditioning to violence as normal…it is the holes in our souls that everyone is longing to fill now. The crazy fear frenzy of the news channels, the overly caricatured hyped up sitcoms, and the fast and furious onslaught of material overload has proven not to fill this void. People are longing for one thing above all others, and that one thing is meaningful connection. It can be translated into spiritual fulfillment, a deep purpose that serves the higher good of humanity, and many other great words, but in my opinion it boils down to basic human connection.
We can find it by turning off the screens, sitting still in the quiet, refusing to answer the phone every single time it rings, and active listening, for starters. The gift of true connection is one that is unforgettable, and that impacts in a way that ripples in its healing effect. How many times have you felt truly and deeply heard? I venture to say that you remember those few times vividly as precious in your life.
A relationship is its own being, a unique energy body that needs feeding, attention, and love. To be in service to this relationship energy body is the best way that I know of to hone the art of commitment and growth…not very romantic stuff, but crucial to the creation of romance. In other words, we must build a foundation of connection, deep listening, commitment to growth, and commitment to the entity of the relationship to even begin to expect the next level of true and lasting romance to enter the picture.
The practice of connection in our intimate relationships requires complete and full attention to each other. It requires distraction free space, and a commitment to set aside our own agendas for the larger entity of the relationship. The best place to begin is with the tried and true exercise of taking turns being heard and listening, repeating back what you heard to each other verbatim. Eye gazing is another fabulous way to build intimacy and connection, and specifically gazing at each other’s left eyes works best, according to behavior specialists. Another thing to keep in mind is that women need romance first to feel a deep and romantic connection, and men need oxytocin from sex to feel a loving bond. This is a quandary indeed! I suggest some give and take here, and especially for women to begin to speak to what they need, find ways to relieve stress, and nurture themselves before trying to give more. Exquisite self care is crucial before a woman can relax into all that a man has to give her. Connection is multi-faceted, but it’s the foundation of what will heal our world, our relationships, and our lives. Of this I am convinced.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Is Turning Heads An Outside or Inside Job?
Magazine covers would have us believe that beauty is an outside job, and yet our spiritual leaders tell us it all comes from within. I don’t know about you, but it leaves my head in a tizzy! I’ve tried every hair color, every type of makeup, dressed myself in every fashion to hit the runways…and unlike the majority, I’ve also studied spirituality from Christianity to paganism and everything in between.
As they say in Maine, ya can’t get they-ya from hee-ya. What I mean is that as women, we search constantly for a way to attract attention from that special one or many and end up either beautifying ourselves to exhaustion, or giving up completely and neglecting ourselves. Does this sound familiar?
I dare say I have untangled the confusing information, which I am downright elated to clarify with you here. It’s something so obvious and simple that I’m flushed that it hadn’t dawned on me earlier. The truth is that it’s not just an outside job and it’s not just an inside job…it is BOTH
My personal background includes modeling and cosmetology which are outside jobs. For twenty years I spent most of my time looking in mirrors, primping myself or someone else, expertly assessing my client’s features, taking clothes on and off, strutting down runways and posing for photographers. I listened to a multitude of women commiserate about their hair, their looks, their boyfriends, husbands, their sex lives, their weight, and their careers. They told me secrets reserved for therapists, and then some. The amazing thing is that without exception, after an hour in my chair of being professionally coiffed and primped, they would leave feeling more beautiful. They sat down, got inner and outer attention and acknowledgment, and left feeling wonderful and radiating more beauty.
The noticeable thing about a woman who feels beautiful is that she carries herself differently. She smiles more, is conscious of her body and how she’s holding herself, and looks others in the eye with confidence. A woman can take herself from invisible to queen in minutes just by carrying herself with poise.
Sometimes a woman would come in with her hair an absolute mess, and the transformational mix of hair color, cut and styling would be stunning. Seeing her transformed physical appearance would shift her emotions about herself and then her self esteem would soar. At other times a woman whose physicality was breathtakingly beautiful would sit down for me to work on her, and inside of ten minutes her negative attitude would literally change my perception of her and she would appear considerably less attractive bordering on ugly.
It’s up to us how we use the power we have in our hands as women. We don’t have to wait for someone to tell us how gorgeous we are (although it never hurts!). We can do it ourselves. Also, we have the choice of whether to slip into something sexy, touch up our lipstick, and dab on some perfume or simply carry ourselves as if we own the room with the magnetic secret between our thighs. Beauty is not an either/or proposition…it is an exciting blend of both that we have access to at any time.
As they say in Maine, ya can’t get they-ya from hee-ya. What I mean is that as women, we search constantly for a way to attract attention from that special one or many and end up either beautifying ourselves to exhaustion, or giving up completely and neglecting ourselves. Does this sound familiar?
I dare say I have untangled the confusing information, which I am downright elated to clarify with you here. It’s something so obvious and simple that I’m flushed that it hadn’t dawned on me earlier. The truth is that it’s not just an outside job and it’s not just an inside job…it is BOTH
My personal background includes modeling and cosmetology which are outside jobs. For twenty years I spent most of my time looking in mirrors, primping myself or someone else, expertly assessing my client’s features, taking clothes on and off, strutting down runways and posing for photographers. I listened to a multitude of women commiserate about their hair, their looks, their boyfriends, husbands, their sex lives, their weight, and their careers. They told me secrets reserved for therapists, and then some. The amazing thing is that without exception, after an hour in my chair of being professionally coiffed and primped, they would leave feeling more beautiful. They sat down, got inner and outer attention and acknowledgment, and left feeling wonderful and radiating more beauty.
The noticeable thing about a woman who feels beautiful is that she carries herself differently. She smiles more, is conscious of her body and how she’s holding herself, and looks others in the eye with confidence. A woman can take herself from invisible to queen in minutes just by carrying herself with poise.
Sometimes a woman would come in with her hair an absolute mess, and the transformational mix of hair color, cut and styling would be stunning. Seeing her transformed physical appearance would shift her emotions about herself and then her self esteem would soar. At other times a woman whose physicality was breathtakingly beautiful would sit down for me to work on her, and inside of ten minutes her negative attitude would literally change my perception of her and she would appear considerably less attractive bordering on ugly.
It’s up to us how we use the power we have in our hands as women. We don’t have to wait for someone to tell us how gorgeous we are (although it never hurts!). We can do it ourselves. Also, we have the choice of whether to slip into something sexy, touch up our lipstick, and dab on some perfume or simply carry ourselves as if we own the room with the magnetic secret between our thighs. Beauty is not an either/or proposition…it is an exciting blend of both that we have access to at any time.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Dishing Up Some Exquisite Self Care
What will it take, I ask you, to get you to slow down and put the oxygen mask to your own face? Why is it that we, as women, tend to leave ourselves last? I know, I know. You have a million reasons ranging from fear that ‘they’ won’t be able to care for themselves, to the belief that no one else could possibly take care of this situation as well as you do, to the ultimate one, that if you do let go and allow them to do it themselves, they’ll inevitably mess it up and you’ll have to then work twice as hard picking up the pieces!
Well, I have news for you, my cupcakes. I am eating shrimp with brown rice and veggies right now, sautéed lightly in safflower oil, known for its health giving benefits. What on earth does this have to do with it? Everything. It is a lunch prepared with love, some deep relaxed breathing, and a whole lotta will power. It took immense will power for me to stop what I was doing, walk into the kitchen, and take the time to prepare a healthy meal for myself. I didn’t want to. I would have preferred to continue working and unconsciously slam down a microwaved, salt laden, chemically preserved tv dinner. And I would have liked to follow it with a chocolate bar, a diet coke, and perhaps some potato chips. Sister, I have deadlines, you know.
My preferred lunch would have me high, working away, feeling productive and like the world loved me because I was keeping up with my commitments in a timely fashion…at least in my mind. The aching need to feel loved would be satiated with sugar, fat, salt, and caffeine. We are all aware though, that the preferred lunch would also have me crashing in no time and reaching for more potato chips, some ice cream, or another aspartame riddled adult black poison bubbly juice (diet coke). All of this for what? For more production, more people pleasing, more feelings like I am in control of my world…for these illusions I sacrifice my poor body.
I am telling you that it is not just food, but so many other reasons, excuses and ideas we have that all boil down to one thing. Programming. Women in general are programmed to be pleasing, to put others first, to sacrifice, to continue to hold others higher, to delay or even forsake gratification, and to stay smaller so that we are liked.
Time and time again I see women who are magnificent, spectacular, and brilliant, and they’re running ragged trying to keep up with what is accepted in our society as norm…hiding their light, passion and hotness under a mountain of pressure.
So here I have the flashing red lights and the sirens to get your attention. It is only by caring for ourselves exquisitely that we can truly serve the world. You know that old cliché about mommy using the oxygen mask first so that she can then be alive to put the oxygen mask over baby’s face? True. Perfect. It is absolutely imperative. You need to put yourself first, first, first, first, first. Let me repeat that. You need to put yourself first. And that baby? It’s your inner infant.
This brings me to our topic today of exquisite self care. It begins with a scoop of willingness to believe that it is possible. Dripped over that is some soothing, delicious and warm attention such as a list of what you might enjoy. I enjoy resting with a good book and a hot cup of tea, a walk in the sunshine, massaging some lotion onto my feet, or meditating. This is a great start and with a pen, the list of possibilities begins.
The sprinkling of friends who are on the same mission is an added extra, and it’s free. You can engage a few willing sisters to join you in this journey and ante up the beauty and joy factor on the planet by doing so. And then the ultimate dollop of whipped up pleasure on the fun is an outing of your desire. These could be made up of whatever turns you on.
Self care is fine by itself, but when you add exquisiteness to it, it becomes the thing of which goddesses, courtesans, and women of sparkling charisma are made. To reach exquisiteness, you must stretch. Stretching into purchasing silky luxuries to wear against your skin, treating yourself to a full body massage, or attending a ballet…whatever brings you into a place of pleasure. The cherry on the top, my loves, is that when you have been willing to care for yourself, the world begins to adore you, respect you, want you, desire your company, and is willing to do anything for you. Please don’t take my word for it…pick up your spoon and try some.
Well, I have news for you, my cupcakes. I am eating shrimp with brown rice and veggies right now, sautéed lightly in safflower oil, known for its health giving benefits. What on earth does this have to do with it? Everything. It is a lunch prepared with love, some deep relaxed breathing, and a whole lotta will power. It took immense will power for me to stop what I was doing, walk into the kitchen, and take the time to prepare a healthy meal for myself. I didn’t want to. I would have preferred to continue working and unconsciously slam down a microwaved, salt laden, chemically preserved tv dinner. And I would have liked to follow it with a chocolate bar, a diet coke, and perhaps some potato chips. Sister, I have deadlines, you know.
My preferred lunch would have me high, working away, feeling productive and like the world loved me because I was keeping up with my commitments in a timely fashion…at least in my mind. The aching need to feel loved would be satiated with sugar, fat, salt, and caffeine. We are all aware though, that the preferred lunch would also have me crashing in no time and reaching for more potato chips, some ice cream, or another aspartame riddled adult black poison bubbly juice (diet coke). All of this for what? For more production, more people pleasing, more feelings like I am in control of my world…for these illusions I sacrifice my poor body.
I am telling you that it is not just food, but so many other reasons, excuses and ideas we have that all boil down to one thing. Programming. Women in general are programmed to be pleasing, to put others first, to sacrifice, to continue to hold others higher, to delay or even forsake gratification, and to stay smaller so that we are liked.
Time and time again I see women who are magnificent, spectacular, and brilliant, and they’re running ragged trying to keep up with what is accepted in our society as norm…hiding their light, passion and hotness under a mountain of pressure.
So here I have the flashing red lights and the sirens to get your attention. It is only by caring for ourselves exquisitely that we can truly serve the world. You know that old cliché about mommy using the oxygen mask first so that she can then be alive to put the oxygen mask over baby’s face? True. Perfect. It is absolutely imperative. You need to put yourself first, first, first, first, first. Let me repeat that. You need to put yourself first. And that baby? It’s your inner infant.
This brings me to our topic today of exquisite self care. It begins with a scoop of willingness to believe that it is possible. Dripped over that is some soothing, delicious and warm attention such as a list of what you might enjoy. I enjoy resting with a good book and a hot cup of tea, a walk in the sunshine, massaging some lotion onto my feet, or meditating. This is a great start and with a pen, the list of possibilities begins.
The sprinkling of friends who are on the same mission is an added extra, and it’s free. You can engage a few willing sisters to join you in this journey and ante up the beauty and joy factor on the planet by doing so. And then the ultimate dollop of whipped up pleasure on the fun is an outing of your desire. These could be made up of whatever turns you on.
Self care is fine by itself, but when you add exquisiteness to it, it becomes the thing of which goddesses, courtesans, and women of sparkling charisma are made. To reach exquisiteness, you must stretch. Stretching into purchasing silky luxuries to wear against your skin, treating yourself to a full body massage, or attending a ballet…whatever brings you into a place of pleasure. The cherry on the top, my loves, is that when you have been willing to care for yourself, the world begins to adore you, respect you, want you, desire your company, and is willing to do anything for you. Please don’t take my word for it…pick up your spoon and try some.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Your Inner Sensual Honey Pot
The single most scintillating thing about a divinely sensual woman is her connection to her private pot of honey. Every woman has it, but few know how to dip their consciousness into that pot and remain centered and dripping in the nectar of feminine essence that is her divine birthright. It is a mystery to many and a scary monster to avoid to those of us who’ve been brainwashed by our culture.
Luckily girlfriends, you’ve got me, and I’ve got a big mouth when it comes to dirty secrets that keep women feeling small and unhappy. My mission is to rev you up and give you full out permission to be the sexiest, hottest, most sensually satisfied woman you can be and to feel that your spiritual, love centered soul is right with the world at the same time!
What the heck does honey have to do with my inner self, you might be asking? Honey is what attracts because of sweetness. It’s filled with nutrients. When bears get a whiff of it, they cannot resist it. It’s liquid and flowing, but slow and sensual. Honey is good for just about everything from healing skin to baking cookies and it’s good for you, too. But if you spill it where you don’t want it, it’s sticky, messy, and kind of disgusting.
The key to this inquiry is that we’re talking about your inner self, not your outer self. When the incredible sweetness of loving yourself and your femaleness is in place, your honey is where it will do the most good. In fact, it will bring you unimaginable, amazing, miraculous good. This, dear sisters, is where your power resides. It’s in your love affair with your own beautiful femaleness, and your own exquisite and unique honey pot.
Misplaced, oozing out of the pot, and spilling onto others kind of honey is where you can get into big trouble. Unfortunately, most of us have had honey spills! Those happen when you think that someone else is responsible for making you happy, or that you just can’t live another day without so and so in your life. It’s a sticky, messy, oozy yuck with bits of neediness, blame, resentment, hopelessness, and jealousy all stuck to it.
The trick to learning how to hold your honey pot is learning how to completely and fully celebrate your womanhood. There are courses where you can learn this, such as Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts. It’s an amazing course filled with all sorts of tools that teach you how to bask in your self love in many ways. I highly recommend her books, and if you can afford it, her Mastery course.
My work takes you further into your spiritual depths. I use ancient teachings, empowerment experiences, careful observation of the shadow parts of yourself, and outrageous fun to liberate you into a fully empowered, spiritually whole, sensually liberated woman who knows how to dig deep into her desires and create the life of her dreams. I teach you how to hold your precious honey pot so that it feeds your beautiful soul.
Luckily girlfriends, you’ve got me, and I’ve got a big mouth when it comes to dirty secrets that keep women feeling small and unhappy. My mission is to rev you up and give you full out permission to be the sexiest, hottest, most sensually satisfied woman you can be and to feel that your spiritual, love centered soul is right with the world at the same time!
What the heck does honey have to do with my inner self, you might be asking? Honey is what attracts because of sweetness. It’s filled with nutrients. When bears get a whiff of it, they cannot resist it. It’s liquid and flowing, but slow and sensual. Honey is good for just about everything from healing skin to baking cookies and it’s good for you, too. But if you spill it where you don’t want it, it’s sticky, messy, and kind of disgusting.
The key to this inquiry is that we’re talking about your inner self, not your outer self. When the incredible sweetness of loving yourself and your femaleness is in place, your honey is where it will do the most good. In fact, it will bring you unimaginable, amazing, miraculous good. This, dear sisters, is where your power resides. It’s in your love affair with your own beautiful femaleness, and your own exquisite and unique honey pot.
Misplaced, oozing out of the pot, and spilling onto others kind of honey is where you can get into big trouble. Unfortunately, most of us have had honey spills! Those happen when you think that someone else is responsible for making you happy, or that you just can’t live another day without so and so in your life. It’s a sticky, messy, oozy yuck with bits of neediness, blame, resentment, hopelessness, and jealousy all stuck to it.
The trick to learning how to hold your honey pot is learning how to completely and fully celebrate your womanhood. There are courses where you can learn this, such as Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts. It’s an amazing course filled with all sorts of tools that teach you how to bask in your self love in many ways. I highly recommend her books, and if you can afford it, her Mastery course.
My work takes you further into your spiritual depths. I use ancient teachings, empowerment experiences, careful observation of the shadow parts of yourself, and outrageous fun to liberate you into a fully empowered, spiritually whole, sensually liberated woman who knows how to dig deep into her desires and create the life of her dreams. I teach you how to hold your precious honey pot so that it feeds your beautiful soul.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
What’s Breath Got To Do With It?
Sensuality, luscious beauties, begins with the breath. As a yoga teacher, over the years I have come to realize that just about everything has to do with breathing. When my little boy, who deals with hypersensitivities, has to endure something especially uncomfortable, I have taught him to use pranayama, or yogic breathing techniques to help him calm his mind, and ultimately cope with the discomfort. When I teach yoga, I’m teaching breathing techniques and breath consciousness while I teach postures. It’s actually more important, in my opinion, than the body postures because of how it affects the mind…and I think we all know that the mind is inextricably linked to sensuality!
Pondering the teaching of sensuality, it’s occurred to me that breathing is even more directly connected here as well. Sheri Winston, outstanding sexuality educator, does groundbreaking work teaching about anatomy, and also tells us that one can use breath for enhanced pleasure. Imagine yourself experiencing extreme pleasure. Do you tense up? Do you continue to breathe or hold your breath? Is your breath shallow, or deeper, or do you gulp and gasp and hold the air in? Most of us don’t pay attention to this, and what I’ve learned is that we are missing out on some of the most intense pleasure imaginable!
One of my favorite tantric teachers, Mare Simone, demonstrated some fabulous breathing exercises in a program I was involved with not long ago. She literally brought herself to orgasm with this breathing technique and nothing else. Many tantrikas (sexual healers) have this skill, as well as the knowledge of how the breath is deeply connected with the life force. This connects our sexual energy with our spiritual energy…resulting in a magnificent flow of ecstasy that moves up the spine called kundalini.
In the workshops that I facilitate, I teach women to move the energy through their bodies with their breath, and tune into the sensations of being in a sensual, ecstatic, vibrant, alive body. It changes the way they look, making their eyes shine and their skin glow. It puts a smile on their faces! Truly, sensuality is the essence of embodiment and pleasure deeply connected in the moment, elevated by breath…
Pondering the teaching of sensuality, it’s occurred to me that breathing is even more directly connected here as well. Sheri Winston, outstanding sexuality educator, does groundbreaking work teaching about anatomy, and also tells us that one can use breath for enhanced pleasure. Imagine yourself experiencing extreme pleasure. Do you tense up? Do you continue to breathe or hold your breath? Is your breath shallow, or deeper, or do you gulp and gasp and hold the air in? Most of us don’t pay attention to this, and what I’ve learned is that we are missing out on some of the most intense pleasure imaginable!
One of my favorite tantric teachers, Mare Simone, demonstrated some fabulous breathing exercises in a program I was involved with not long ago. She literally brought herself to orgasm with this breathing technique and nothing else. Many tantrikas (sexual healers) have this skill, as well as the knowledge of how the breath is deeply connected with the life force. This connects our sexual energy with our spiritual energy…resulting in a magnificent flow of ecstasy that moves up the spine called kundalini.
In the workshops that I facilitate, I teach women to move the energy through their bodies with their breath, and tune into the sensations of being in a sensual, ecstatic, vibrant, alive body. It changes the way they look, making their eyes shine and their skin glow. It puts a smile on their faces! Truly, sensuality is the essence of embodiment and pleasure deeply connected in the moment, elevated by breath…
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Why Work With Me?
I was having this intriguing conversation with my husband this morning, that when I speak to people about what I do for work, I tend to leave out this essential piece...what the benefit is. We were discussing the last twenty years we've been together and all of the people who's lives I've touched, specifically, and what they've said to me about it.
Of course, this is not to say that my life hasn't been touched by many. Of course this is true. But for this specific topic, we were remembering who I've known and what they've reported has happened out of conversations with me. And by conversations, I really mean coaching.
Until now I hadn't put it into words, nor had I gone back and really looked at the amount of people who have said to me that one conversation with me changed their lives forever. What a huge, fantastic thing to credit someone! Until now, I had never really stopped to consider that when I have one of those "conversations" with someone, it is as natural as breathing. It's an effortless way of holding them with love, giving them immense space for all that they are expressing and feeling, and knowing which questions to ask that allow them to dive really deep into their longings and desires, dreams and visions.
Breathing isn't something I've considered charging anyone for, and so for many years I did not. Long before coaching became something that people trained to do, I was doing it...just naturally. Of course, I had a mentor who was a coach for over a decade, but she didn't call herself a coach. She was a consultant for results. In the years I spent with her I witnessed hundreds of people pass through her doors and have incredible life shifts. I sat through class after class watching her "process" people. Processing nowadays has become known as coaching!
I was privy to countless hours of witnessing her coaching people, being coached, and immersing in and intensive study of metaphysics. During this time I was pursuing my modeling and singing career...unaware that I was receiving an ingrained sense of coaching that would benefit me for a lifetime. All of my friends at the time benefited from my "processing" conversations. Years later some still report back to me about conversations with me that completely changed the course of their lives for the better. I am deeply grateful for having made such a difference for them. It is one of the most rewarding experiences, to be able to give someone my loving presence so that they can take their dreams and fly with them!
Allow me to list some of the benefits of working with me, either in a workshop, a class, or a private session.
People report the following:
~feel more alive, more vital
~finally follow their calling
~discover their inner sensuality
~begin a gorgeous journey of listening to their deepest yearning, and making it come true
~discover their self-worth
~change careers
~embrace themselves, truly love themselves
~find their spiritual connection and depth
~go from lonely to dating several people and loving life
~find community and belonging
~own their beauty
~discover gifts they never knew they had
~overcome fear of success or failure
~make a huge move to a dream location
~get the education they secretly longed for
~learn skills that improve their relationships
~love their bodies for the first time
~feel exquisitely feminine
~learn profoundly life altering intimacy skills
~overcome their fear of expressing joy and celebration
~have improved sex lives
~overcome victimization
~discover their true calling
~healed faster
~healed completely
~stop procrastinating and achieve their goals
If you'd like to experience coaching support from a metaphysical sensuality goddess and finally realize some dreams you've had on the back burner, visit my website and check out my programs.
I'm offering coaching packages right now that are affordable and will light up your life.
http://www.goddessoceana.com
Of course, this is not to say that my life hasn't been touched by many. Of course this is true. But for this specific topic, we were remembering who I've known and what they've reported has happened out of conversations with me. And by conversations, I really mean coaching.
Until now I hadn't put it into words, nor had I gone back and really looked at the amount of people who have said to me that one conversation with me changed their lives forever. What a huge, fantastic thing to credit someone! Until now, I had never really stopped to consider that when I have one of those "conversations" with someone, it is as natural as breathing. It's an effortless way of holding them with love, giving them immense space for all that they are expressing and feeling, and knowing which questions to ask that allow them to dive really deep into their longings and desires, dreams and visions.
Breathing isn't something I've considered charging anyone for, and so for many years I did not. Long before coaching became something that people trained to do, I was doing it...just naturally. Of course, I had a mentor who was a coach for over a decade, but she didn't call herself a coach. She was a consultant for results. In the years I spent with her I witnessed hundreds of people pass through her doors and have incredible life shifts. I sat through class after class watching her "process" people. Processing nowadays has become known as coaching!
I was privy to countless hours of witnessing her coaching people, being coached, and immersing in and intensive study of metaphysics. During this time I was pursuing my modeling and singing career...unaware that I was receiving an ingrained sense of coaching that would benefit me for a lifetime. All of my friends at the time benefited from my "processing" conversations. Years later some still report back to me about conversations with me that completely changed the course of their lives for the better. I am deeply grateful for having made such a difference for them. It is one of the most rewarding experiences, to be able to give someone my loving presence so that they can take their dreams and fly with them!
Allow me to list some of the benefits of working with me, either in a workshop, a class, or a private session.
People report the following:
~feel more alive, more vital
~finally follow their calling
~discover their inner sensuality
~begin a gorgeous journey of listening to their deepest yearning, and making it come true
~discover their self-worth
~change careers
~embrace themselves, truly love themselves
~find their spiritual connection and depth
~go from lonely to dating several people and loving life
~find community and belonging
~own their beauty
~discover gifts they never knew they had
~overcome fear of success or failure
~make a huge move to a dream location
~get the education they secretly longed for
~learn skills that improve their relationships
~love their bodies for the first time
~feel exquisitely feminine
~learn profoundly life altering intimacy skills
~overcome their fear of expressing joy and celebration
~have improved sex lives
~overcome victimization
~discover their true calling
~healed faster
~healed completely
~stop procrastinating and achieve their goals
If you'd like to experience coaching support from a metaphysical sensuality goddess and finally realize some dreams you've had on the back burner, visit my website and check out my programs.
I'm offering coaching packages right now that are affordable and will light up your life.
http://www.goddessoceana.com
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Sensual Adventures with a Goddess
Promising you more ways to excavate the sensuality you were born with in an article is proving to be a challenge that will take a heap of imagination. I’m finding that it’s far easier to give someone an experience of their sensual inner goddess in person.
Since I’m not one to go back on my word, this series of articles is going to be as close as I can get to being with you where you are. I’m going to draw on personal experience, girlfriends. It’s you and me, sitting down to coffee, and dishing the real girl dirt. Brace yourself for some tantric, juicy lowdown…
Where it all begins is with childhood, the exploration of our bodies, the grass, the dirt, play dough…all the things we so instinctively touch and feel into as we gather up the deliciousness of where we’ve landed in a body. If you were one of the fortunate little girls, you were given free range and a smile to cover yourself with mud and try out some sand as an appetizer, squeeze your spaghetti between your fingers, and try out a yogurt hair treatment between mouthfuls. Alas, if you were brought up in a sanitized household, your caretaker wiped your hands relentlessly and scolded you for getting dirty. You learned that to be a good girl you had to stay clean, and thwart the inclination to be sensual with your world, climb trees with the boys, or run naked and free.
Let’s assume you were shamed or forbidden to touch your body, either by your parents or your church upbringing. While we’re at it, add in the cultural mentality that good girls are ladylike…crossing legs, being nice, and never expressing anger. With this message, is it any wonder that most of us are wounded into a madonna/whore internal split? I tell people that I’m here to bridge that divide. It’s not black and white, and you can be both horny and spiritual…and not only that, but you can be BOTH at the same time! In fact, I’m here to tell you that the problem with our world is the fact that we aren’t allowing ourselves to be honest that we are both, and that in striving so hard to repress one or the other is one of the major reasons we are at war internally and externally.
Our journey here is about opening the gates of sensual, healthy flow so that you can begin to merge the parts of yourself that have been carefully walled up. Those walls are precarious at best, and if your holy and frisky wild selves are kept imprisoned and estranged from each other, there will be internal spies in the night of
your heart, and victims of your sideways rage and repression strewn along your path…and you’ll continue to wonder why you’re unhappy, unfulfilled, and unable to control yourself.
That said, let us begin our healing of the sensual self whose newfound strength and presence will propel you into your rightful power. This week we are boldly diving into sensual empowerment work! Your first assignment is to find a time to be alone and a lock for your bedroom door. Make sure you will be undisturbed for a while, and that you set this time aside with the intention of doing some deep inner healing, nurturing of your soul, and setting things right with yourself.
First make sure you have a big mirror so that you can see yourself clearly, top to bottom. Bring along some delicious fruit or treats, something refreshing and yummy to drink, and perhaps some relaxing music and candles. This is your special, sacred time, so please create a beautiful atmosphere that is enjoyable.
Find something gorgeous and silky to wear that makes you feel lovely, sexy, and beautiful. If you don’t own something like this, then your assignment is to make a note to acquire an item that fits this description. No sensual woman goes without this!
For now, either wear your sensual item, or make it up out of something silky in your home…undress and drape it across yourself and feel the way it brushes across your skin.
You’re ready to sit in front of the mirror and indulge in the treats of sound, taste, texture, scents and sight of yourself. Bask in the texture and tastes of the fruit on the tip of your tongue, and sliding across your lips. Indulge in the splendor of the romantic music playing, and allow the wine to intoxicate your senses. Stroke your cheek as you would a beloved, and continue down your divinely elegant neck, savoring the magnificence of being in a body…a gorgeous, one of a kind female body.
Find five things that you absolutely love about your beautiful body. This is where it may get tricky. Some women say they cannot find anything, and some only one or two. Even if it’s the fact that you love that you have taste buds and they really work well, then that’s one thing to make note of. The way your wrist slopes so delicately towards your hand, or the fact that your belly held your baby so safely during your pregnancy…your hair falling against your face, or the little toe on your left foot. It doesn’t matter how insignificant it might seem to you. The work here is in acknowledging your amazing body and sensations in full view of yourself. And so our work begins!
Stay tuned for more adventures next time, and until then bask in the glorious world of sensations daily, my darlings!
Since I’m not one to go back on my word, this series of articles is going to be as close as I can get to being with you where you are. I’m going to draw on personal experience, girlfriends. It’s you and me, sitting down to coffee, and dishing the real girl dirt. Brace yourself for some tantric, juicy lowdown…
Where it all begins is with childhood, the exploration of our bodies, the grass, the dirt, play dough…all the things we so instinctively touch and feel into as we gather up the deliciousness of where we’ve landed in a body. If you were one of the fortunate little girls, you were given free range and a smile to cover yourself with mud and try out some sand as an appetizer, squeeze your spaghetti between your fingers, and try out a yogurt hair treatment between mouthfuls. Alas, if you were brought up in a sanitized household, your caretaker wiped your hands relentlessly and scolded you for getting dirty. You learned that to be a good girl you had to stay clean, and thwart the inclination to be sensual with your world, climb trees with the boys, or run naked and free.
Let’s assume you were shamed or forbidden to touch your body, either by your parents or your church upbringing. While we’re at it, add in the cultural mentality that good girls are ladylike…crossing legs, being nice, and never expressing anger. With this message, is it any wonder that most of us are wounded into a madonna/whore internal split? I tell people that I’m here to bridge that divide. It’s not black and white, and you can be both horny and spiritual…and not only that, but you can be BOTH at the same time! In fact, I’m here to tell you that the problem with our world is the fact that we aren’t allowing ourselves to be honest that we are both, and that in striving so hard to repress one or the other is one of the major reasons we are at war internally and externally.
Our journey here is about opening the gates of sensual, healthy flow so that you can begin to merge the parts of yourself that have been carefully walled up. Those walls are precarious at best, and if your holy and frisky wild selves are kept imprisoned and estranged from each other, there will be internal spies in the night of
your heart, and victims of your sideways rage and repression strewn along your path…and you’ll continue to wonder why you’re unhappy, unfulfilled, and unable to control yourself.
That said, let us begin our healing of the sensual self whose newfound strength and presence will propel you into your rightful power. This week we are boldly diving into sensual empowerment work! Your first assignment is to find a time to be alone and a lock for your bedroom door. Make sure you will be undisturbed for a while, and that you set this time aside with the intention of doing some deep inner healing, nurturing of your soul, and setting things right with yourself.
First make sure you have a big mirror so that you can see yourself clearly, top to bottom. Bring along some delicious fruit or treats, something refreshing and yummy to drink, and perhaps some relaxing music and candles. This is your special, sacred time, so please create a beautiful atmosphere that is enjoyable.
Find something gorgeous and silky to wear that makes you feel lovely, sexy, and beautiful. If you don’t own something like this, then your assignment is to make a note to acquire an item that fits this description. No sensual woman goes without this!
For now, either wear your sensual item, or make it up out of something silky in your home…undress and drape it across yourself and feel the way it brushes across your skin.
You’re ready to sit in front of the mirror and indulge in the treats of sound, taste, texture, scents and sight of yourself. Bask in the texture and tastes of the fruit on the tip of your tongue, and sliding across your lips. Indulge in the splendor of the romantic music playing, and allow the wine to intoxicate your senses. Stroke your cheek as you would a beloved, and continue down your divinely elegant neck, savoring the magnificence of being in a body…a gorgeous, one of a kind female body.
Find five things that you absolutely love about your beautiful body. This is where it may get tricky. Some women say they cannot find anything, and some only one or two. Even if it’s the fact that you love that you have taste buds and they really work well, then that’s one thing to make note of. The way your wrist slopes so delicately towards your hand, or the fact that your belly held your baby so safely during your pregnancy…your hair falling against your face, or the little toe on your left foot. It doesn’t matter how insignificant it might seem to you. The work here is in acknowledging your amazing body and sensations in full view of yourself. And so our work begins!
Stay tuned for more adventures next time, and until then bask in the glorious world of sensations daily, my darlings!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Falling in Love With Your One Precious Body
You’re thinking that this is downright impossible, and you’re not even sure you want to anyway, right?! I hear you, sister. You and I have been programmed at a young age to view our bodies as shameful vessels of imperfection. Cross your legs like a lady, cover any natural body scent with artificial fragrances, and be nice are the messages we receive. Be polite, coy, and agreeable. Learn to cook and get a career to pay for everything. In fact, learn how to do everything so that any man you’re lucky enough to snag will be completely cared for, nurtured, and thrilled at how easily you cooperate and pop out a family for him while you bring home the bacon and craft it into a gourmet creation. No muss no fuss! Have I got your attention?
We women have private parts that are unmentionable. Most of us have never even seen them, and we sure as heck aren’t supposed to touch them. Many don’t know what’s where, what it’s for, or what it looks like. We’re actually afraid to look because we’ve gotten the message loud and clear that it’s abnormal, probably ugly and likely smelly. Spoken or unspoken, that’s the general pulse of our overly showered, disinfected, and perfumed culture.
Along with that message, we’re barraged with images of airbrushed, painted, and perfectly coiffed role models who can afford every type of medical enhancement invented, and have a team of stylists following them around. Not only are we ill equipped to compete, but we’re told that if we don’t emulate these icons, we are worthless and invisible. It’s depressing and deflating and invokes self loathing.
Before I lose you, I’m swinging into what you, the glorious and gorgeous creature that you truly are, can do about it! It would seem hopeless, but I have full faith in you because many of your sisters have already jumped on the bandwagon of the divine feminine revival recently. We have figured it out and are pioneering the exquisite landscape of self love with an exuberance that’s contagious. I am here to welcome you with open arms…please join us!
For the next few articles, follow me while I lay out a plan for not only working up the courage to look at that precious vehicle you were born into, but for falling in love with every single inch. For now, please begin by either putting on hand lotion or lip gloss each and every day. Find one silky or luxurious item to don often, just for the feel of it. Trust me. One baby step at a time, my beautiful creatures of divine femininity and miraculous good fortune…you landed here, didn’t you? You’re a genius!
We women have private parts that are unmentionable. Most of us have never even seen them, and we sure as heck aren’t supposed to touch them. Many don’t know what’s where, what it’s for, or what it looks like. We’re actually afraid to look because we’ve gotten the message loud and clear that it’s abnormal, probably ugly and likely smelly. Spoken or unspoken, that’s the general pulse of our overly showered, disinfected, and perfumed culture.
Along with that message, we’re barraged with images of airbrushed, painted, and perfectly coiffed role models who can afford every type of medical enhancement invented, and have a team of stylists following them around. Not only are we ill equipped to compete, but we’re told that if we don’t emulate these icons, we are worthless and invisible. It’s depressing and deflating and invokes self loathing.
Before I lose you, I’m swinging into what you, the glorious and gorgeous creature that you truly are, can do about it! It would seem hopeless, but I have full faith in you because many of your sisters have already jumped on the bandwagon of the divine feminine revival recently. We have figured it out and are pioneering the exquisite landscape of self love with an exuberance that’s contagious. I am here to welcome you with open arms…please join us!
For the next few articles, follow me while I lay out a plan for not only working up the courage to look at that precious vehicle you were born into, but for falling in love with every single inch. For now, please begin by either putting on hand lotion or lip gloss each and every day. Find one silky or luxurious item to don often, just for the feel of it. Trust me. One baby step at a time, my beautiful creatures of divine femininity and miraculous good fortune…you landed here, didn’t you? You’re a genius!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Sensuality: Do You Purr or Do You Purrrr?
There are many ways to tap into this inherent gift of sensuality. We’re all born with it, but some of us just don’t know it yet. I’m here to give you the lowdown on how to be the source of your own turn on and in turn, turn the world on.
Revving up your sensuality engine is as easy as pie…literally. Especially if you like pie! Eating can be deeply sensual or unconscious and robotic, and anything in between. It’s really the energy that you bring to your senses that awakens them and the interplay between you and the object of your attention.
Consider the difference between sensory and sensual. Sensory is about the senses and the physical sensations that go with it. Sensuality is a personified energetic experience of being alive and turned on to life! Being turned on is a key aspect of sensuality because it truly is a process of anticipation mixed with sensation and filled with inherent satisfaction.
Try these simple exercises that will enhance your capacity to feel, smell, hear, taste, and see. For starters, and a little lesson from nature, watch your cat bathe herself while purring. Without the purr, it’s kind of a silent ho hum action. While purring? That kitty is enjoying herself, loving her paws, loving the moment, basking in happy. Clearly, the inherent joy inside kitty cat is what turns her from a lick machine into a sensuality pro.
Then you might try the fresh outdoors for a veritable smorgasbord of sensory delights. Instead of rushing around and living in your head talk about what you need to do next, try stopping and taking a few mindful breaths the next time you’re outside. Smell the air and take it into your lungs deeply, feeling the texture of the air in your mouth. Look at the sky and admire the hue of blue that particular day. Notice the feel of a breeze across your cheek or the sunshine on your skin. Listen to that same breeze in the trees, and see if you can hear more than one bird.
Another simple way to tap into your sensual self is with food. Instead of fast inhalation of a meal, take the time to savor each bite, rolling it around on your tongue…so many textures, tastes, sensations. By taking a few seconds several times a day, your senses will actually sharpen and you’ll begin to wake up the parts of yourself that may have gone numb. Nerve endings become more sensitive and the world is suddenly a playground of ecstasy!
Is it really that easy? Absolutely, but you have to be willing to risk the sex appeal you will begin to ooze. You might find yourself falling in love with nature in a new way, and you might find yourself surrounded by people who just love being near you because of how it makes them feel. You just might become really, really sensual…
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
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